Love vs. Casual: How to Know What They Want on a Dating App

Dating apps can feel like digital minefields. One moment you're having great banter with someone, and the next, you're ghosted — or worse, strung along with no clarity. In today's dating world, one of the hardest things to figure out is whether someone wants love or just something casual.

If you're tired of swiping without knowing where things stand, this blog is your guide to understanding dating intentions — theirs and your own.

Welcome to Coupal — the dating app that values transparency, effort, and emotional alignment. Let’s break it down.

Why It's So Hard to Tell Intentions on Dating Apps

Dating apps are filled with mixed signals. One person says, "looking for my forever person," while another says, "just here for vibes." But even worse? Most people don’t say anything at all.

Here’s why it’s confusing:

• Profiles are vague: Bios often say things like “we’ll see” or “open to connection” — but what does that mean?
• Hookup culture is mainstream: Many users default to casual unless otherwise stated.
• People aren’t clear with themselves: Some aren’t sure what they want, so they keep it open-ended.
• Algorithms focus on attraction, not values: You’re matched based on likes and location, not emotional readiness.
• Fear of being judged: People avoid saying “I want love” because they fear rejection or coming off as clingy.

All of this creates a fog of ambiguity, and you’re left guessing.

Signs They’re Looking for Something Casual (And Not Love)

Spotting someone who’s just in it for a good time (not a long time)? Watch for these:

• Short bios or no bio at all
• Photos that scream flex, not depth (think gym mirror selfies, party pics)
• Late-night texting only
• Fast moves, slow emotional bonding
• Talks about avoiding labels
• Barely asks about your life
• They’re always "too busy" to meet — unless it’s last-minute

These behaviours might not mean they’re a bad person, but they signal they aren’t emotionally available.

Coupal Tip: We use user behaviour filters to help identify red flags early. Profiles that match your energy rise to the top.

Signs They’re Actually Looking for Love

If someone’s into you and into building something real, it shows. Look for:

• A thoughtful, clear bio stating what they want
• Photos that reflect personality, not just physical appeal
• Regular, meaningful conversations
• Curiosity about your thoughts, values, and dreams
• Mentions of future goals or relationship values
• Respectful of your boundaries
• Emotional availability and stability

Coupal Insight: We encourage our users to share more than selfies. Get to know people through prompts, intention tags, and emotional preferences.

How to Ask "What Are You Looking For?" Without Killing the Vibe

It’s the most important question — but it doesn’t have to feel awkward.

When to ask: Within the first 3–5 meaningful conversations.

How to phrase it:

• “Hey, I like where this is going. Just curious — what brings you to this app?”
• “Are you open to something more long-term, or just seeing what happens?”
• “No pressure, just want to make sure we’re on the same page.”

You’re not forcing anything — you’re seeking clarity.

Coupal Reminder: You can set your intention (love, casual, open to both) right in your profile. It saves time and energy for everyone.

Are You Really Ready for Love (Or Just Swiping to Fill Time)?

Before figuring out someone else’s vibe, ask yourself: Am I actually ready for love?

Sometimes we think we want a relationship, but:

• We’re bored or lonely, not ready to commit
• We’re healing from a past heartbreak
• We want validation more than connection

Signs you are ready:

• You’re emotionally available
• You’re done with the “games”
• You value connection over instant gratification
• You want to build, not just flirt

Coupal Feature: Users can self-rate emotional readiness, so you know who’s really serious.

What to Do If You Both Want Different Things

It’s okay not to be aligned, but don’t try to change someone’s mind.

If they want casual, and you want love:

• Don’t take it personally
• Respect their honesty, and exit gracefully
• Protect your peace — mismatched intentions always lead to heartbreak

If you’re the one who wants casual:

• Be upfront, but kind
• Let them go if they’re looking for something deeper

Coupal Filters: We prioritise intent-matching so you spend less time swiping and more time connecting.

How Coupal Helps You Match With Intentional People

We’re not just another dating app. We’re a clarity-first platform.

• Intent-first profiles — users select if they want love, casual, or are open to both
• Behaviour-based insights — patterns of flaking or inconsistency lower visibility
• Emotional compatibility features — not just photos and bios
• Anti-ghosting culture — we prompt users to close conversations respectfully

Coupal helps remove the guesswork so you can focus on real connections.

Conclusion: Don’t Guess — Get Clarity

Love or casual — there’s no wrong answer. The only mistake? Not knowing what you’re signing up for.

Be honest with yourself. Communicate clearly with others. And use tools that prioritise transparency and emotional alignment.

When two people know what they want — and it’s the same — dating doesn’t have to be a mess.

On Coupal, we don’t just help you match. We help you match minds and intentions.

FAQs

Q1: How do I know if someone wants something serious on a dating app?

A: Look for consistent communication, emotional curiosity, and clear mentions of long-term goals.

Q2: What should I say if I want a relationship, not a hookup?

A: Be honest: “I’m open to something real and meaningful. What are you looking for?”

Q3: Can you fall in love from a dating app?

A: Absolutely — but both people need to be intentional and emotionally open.

Q4: What’s the difference between casual dating and a relationship?

A: Casual dating is low-commitment and flexible. A relationship involves mutual effort, exclusivity, and deeper emotional investment.

Q5: How does Coupal help filter users by intent?

A: Coupal lets users define and display their dating goals, then connects them based on mutual intent and compatibility.

Ready to date with clarity? Try Coupal today — where real people find real connections.